


I'm Barely Holding On

by Cocopops1995



Series: 300 Followers Special [10]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A lot of pain, Angst, Crossover, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Voltron, Set right after the Kerberos mission failed, Shiro's twin, Twins, Violence, Whump, batganes, but not too graphic, everyone thinks Shiro is dead, not the clone, ryou shirogane is mentioned, twinganes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 20:45:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17649572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cocopops1995/pseuds/Cocopops1995
Summary: After the news of the Kerberos mission's failure breaks, Bruce brings Keith back to Wayne Manor, but when Keith needs some air and decides to go wandering through Gotham in the middle of the night, things go very wrong, very quickly.





	I'm Barely Holding On

**Author's Note:**

> For my 300 Followers Special. Anon Requsted a Batganes fic with Keith and Jason with the prompts: "I made a mistake"; "I'm not okay"; and "Trust in yourself and only yourself."

It doesn’t take long for Keith to realise that this had been a bad idea. He hasn’t even been walking for thirty minutes yet when he suddenly gets pulled into a dark alley and finds himself staring at the point of a very sharp-looking knife.

“Give me everythin’ ya got, kid.” The owner of the knife practically growls at Keith. “Or you’ll lose that pretty face of yours.”

Keith wrinkles his nose as the thug leans in close and his repugnant breath washes over him. 

“I don’t have anything on me.” Keith answered truthfully. 

He’d had the good sense to not take anything valuable with him when he’d decided to go wandering through Gotham at this time of night. He just hadn’t had the good sense to  _ not  _ go wandering through Gotham at this time of night. He also hadn’t had the good sense to at least bring his  _ knife  _ with - even if that was his most valuable possession. 

“I’m not gonna ask again, kid.” Knife Guy growls at him again. “Don’t think I’m playin’, I will cut you up if you don’t do what I say.” 

Keith bristles. He can practically hear Shiro’s voice in the back of his mind, telling him to keep his cool, and  _ ‘Patience yields focus _ .’ But that’s the whole problem, the whole reason why he’s out here in the first place. Shiro  _ isn’t  _ here. And he never would be again. 

The thought sends a fresh wave of pain lancing up Keith’s chest, and that pain quickly turns into anger. He doesn’t bother responding to Knife Guy, instead strikes out lighting fast, knocking Knife Guy’s hand away from himself and then disarming the guy. Knife Guy obviously hadn’t expected the move and Keith throws a punch at his jaw before he even has time to recover. Knife Guy goes reeling, crimson blood dribbling from his lips even as Keith launchs himself at the guy, fists flying, as all the rage and pain floods out of him.

But in his anger and pain, Keith focuses only on Knife Guy, and doesn’t notice that he has friends until one of them grabs the back of Keith’s jacket and throw him to the ground. He doesn’t even have time to catch his breath before he feels a kick to his side, followed by another and another and another. 

Keith tries his best to curl in on himself and get his arms over his head in an attempt to shield himself, but it doesn’t do much good. The blows keep raining down on him, hard shoes relentlessly slamming down into his sides, and back over and over again. At one point he feels something in his side  _ snaps  _ and he cries out in pain. The cry only makes his abusers laugh and continue their attack with renewed vigor. 

A sudden thundering boom cracks through the air, and the assault stops all at once. Keith hears cries of surprise , and he opens his eyes in time to see one of his attackers fall to the ground screaming in pain as he clutches his shoulder. 

Keith tries to pull breath into his lungs, but it feels like a hot knife is embedded in his side and he wonders if he did get stabbed after all

“You idiots have five seconds to scram before I start aiming to kill.” a voice yells from somewhere above Keith. 

Another shot goes off another of his attackers cries out in pain, this one clutching his arm.

The rest of Keith’s attackers scramble to run away, two of them only stopping long enough to haul their fallen comrade to his feet and drag him away.

Keith hears a heavy thud as if something heavy had landed not too far away from him. He turns his head in the direction of the thud and watches as a pair of black combat boots approach him. Normally Keith would be worried that someone else is about to attack him, but he’s spent enough time around Shiro and Ryou’s younger brother to recognise Red Hood’s voice.

Sure enough, as soon as the boots reach him, their owner drops into a crouch and Red Hood’s helmet fills Keith’s vision.

Red Hood swears. “Keith, what the hell are you doing here?” 

Each breath hurts like hell, but Keith manages to gasp out an answer, “Walk-ing.”

“Really?” Red Hood asks, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Looked to me more like you were getting your ass handed to you.”

He reaches out to help Keith sit up, but the movement aggravates the knife in Keith’s side, though, and he can’t keep back another cry of pain. His other hand automatically goes up to find the knife, but he’s legitimately surprised when he doesn’t find anything there. 

“What’s wrong?” Red Hood asks, the sarcasm in his voice quickly replaced by concern. 

He tries to answer, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult to talk when each breath he takes is like fire. 

“Side.” he finally manages to gasp out. “Hurts - can’t -”

Red Hood swears again. “C’mon, I’m taking you to Leslie. She’s closer than the Cave.” 

Red Hood pulls something out of his pocket and presses a button on it, and then slowly helps Keith to his feet. Each movement hurts like hell and Keith’s suddenly reminded of the time one of his foster fathers had hit him him hard enough to crack one of his ribs. This feels like that only about a hundred times worse.

Red Hood’s motorcycle comes roaring into the alley, skidding to a stop right next to them. 

“This is gonna hurt.” Hood says as he helps Keith onto the motorcycle, “But you’re gonna have to hold on until we get there. It won’t be a long ride, I promise, Leslie’s isn’t far from here. You think you can hold on until we get there?”

Keith nods and before he knows it, Red Hood has dropped a helmet onto his head and they’re flying through the streets of Gotham. 

Red Hood’s right, the ride doesn’t take long, but fire burning in Keith’s side, along with the various other pains all over Keith’s body, make it feel like the ride takes hours rather than minutes. By the time they come to a stop ghis entire body is trembling from exertion and pain and he very nearly falls right off the bike. 

Red Hood is quick to catch him, though. He scoops Keith up into his arms and carries him into a building. 

The pain and exhaustion catch up with Keith and what happens after that passes in a blur. He’s aware of Red Hood calling for someone, and he picks up the sterile scent of a hospital. He hears more voices but they wash over him until he’s laid down on a bed.

It’s only when cool fingers start pulling his jacket off of him that he surges back into awareness. Adrenaline spikes in his veins, temporarily overwhelming the pain in his side and allowing him to lash out at the person trying to undress him. The cool fingers vanish and rough, warm ones catch his flailing fists. He tries to pull away but Jason’s face moves into his line of vision.

“Keith, calm down. You’re at the clinic. This is Leslie. She just wants to give you something for the pain and then take a look at your side.” He explains. “She’s a friend.” 

It takes Keith much longer than it probably should to process Jason’s words, but the adrenaline drains out of him as quickly as it came and he slumps back down. Jason is quick to catch him and hold him up to allow Leslie to finish taking his jacket off and then helps to gently lower Keith back down onto the bed as Leslie slips a needle under Keith’s skin.

He flinches as she does and looks away. He’s never liked needles. Normally he can hide it, but right now he feels too exposed and too vulnerable, and he hates it.

The drugs Leslie gave him act quickly though. He stays aware just long enough for Leslie to confirm that he doesn’t have a concussion before he slips into blissful, painless unconsciousness. 

* * *

When Keith wakes up again he finds himself in a hospital bed. A glance around shows that he’s in what looks a lot like some kind of examination room. 

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” a voice says from the foot of his bed and Keith looks to find Jason standing there, still wearing his Red Hood uniform, minus the helmet. 

Keith shifts to push himself up off the bed, but his side screams at him as if to remind him that he nearly got beaten to death by a bunch of thugs. He stops moving and the fire in his side dies back down to more of an uncomfortable heat. At least it doesn’t feel quite like he’s being stabbed every time he takes a breath anymore

“Yeah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Jason says, moving to sit at Keith’s feet. “Two of your ribs are broken, and three more are cracked. Not to mention the rest of the heavy bruising you have all over the rest of your body. You’re damn lucky you don’t have any internal injuries.” 

Frustration is evident in Jason’s tone and Keith braces as he waits for the inevitable. For Jason to tell him that he’s too much trouble. That he’s done his bit for Keith and is going to leave Keith here to take care of himself or, worse yet, call Social Services. 

“You want to tell me why you were out taking a walk in Gotham in the middle of the night?” Jason asks. 

“I had to get out of the Manor.” Keith mumbles, and then flinches, expecting to be yelled at to speak up.

But Jason seems to hear him just fine and continues to watch him, waiting for more of an explanation.

Keith doesn’t really have much more of an explanation, though. “I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to get some air.”

Which was exactly it. The atmosphere at Wayne Manor had been so thick with grief that Keith had felt like he was suffocating. He’d tried distracting himself by trying to take his own grief out on one of the punching bags in the Cave, but it hadn’t helped. 

Not when all he could think about was the gaping hole that Shiro had left in his chest. Not when he thought about the grief-stricken looks he’d seen on every one of Shiro’s brothers’ faces when Bruce had lead him and Ryou into the Manor. Not when he kept thinking about how Ryou hadn’t said a single word, or even looked at either Keith or Bruce the entire trip once on the entire trip to Gotham from the Garrison. It had all gotten too much until Keith felt like he couldn’t breathe at all anymore, and then all he could think about was getting  _ out  _ of the Manor. 

“And you thought that _Gotham_ would be a good place to come to _in_ _the middle of the night_ to get some air?” Jason askes with a single lifted eyebrow.

“No, I was thinking that I wanted to get as far away from the Manor as I could. Obviously I made a mistake coming all the way out here, but I  _ had  _ to get away. You weren’t there. You don’t understand what it’s like there right now.” Keith pauses as a thought dawns on him. “Do you even know? About -?”

“About Taks?” Jason asks, his eyes dropping down to where his hands are folded in his lap. “Yeah, I heard from Leslie. I guess that’s what the dozen or so missed calls I have from B are about.”

He’s quiet for a moment and then he looks back up at Keith and now Keith can see the same grief he feels written on Jason’s face. “How’s Ryou holding up? Of all of us, losing Taks will have hit him the hardest.”

There’s a sudden lump in Keith’s throat and he slams his eyes closed against the sudden heat in his eyes and all he can do is shake his head. 

Suddenly arms wrap around Keith and he opens his eyes to see that Jason had moved to his uninjured side. Keith freezes at the unexpected contact, both out of habit and because he’s sure his broken ribs are going to start screaming again. But Jason is surprisingly gentle as he settles down next to Keith and pulls him into a warm hold. 

“I’m sorry.” Jason says once he’s settled down again. “How’re you holding up, kid? I know Taks meant a lot to you, too.”

It’s the first time anyone’s asked how Keith is doing. They’d all been more worried about Ryou who had barely registered any of his brothers, and they’d all been dealing with their own grief over losing Shiro. So Keith didn’t blame them for not asking how he was doing, he hadn’t expected them to. He doesn’t even know why Bruce had brought him back to Gotham too. He wasn’t a part of their family, not really. He knows it’s only a matter of time before Bruce sends him back to the Garrison and leaves him to fend for himself. But that’s okay too, because he’s used to it. 

Keith tries to tell Jason that - that he’s okay - but he can’t. Not when he’s too busy trying to choke back the sobs that are trying to force themselves out of him. 

“Hey.” Jason murmurs. “I know ‘trust in yourself and only yourself’ is the number one abandoned orphan rule, but I also know Taks has been teaching you to trust others - he did the same for me when I was younger. I also know how hypocritical this sounds coming from me, but you gotta let it out kid. It’s okay. There’s no one but me here. Just let it all out.”

It’s exactly something that Shiro would say, and it’s the last straw. Keith turns his head into Jason’s chest and stops fighting the tears and sobs. He lets it all out, crying into Jason’s armour like he hasn’t cried since his father died.

He doesn’t know how long it takes him to cry himself out. When he finally does his ribs have gone back to screaming at him, obviously aggravated by the sobs that had wracked his whole body for who knows how long.

He tries to pull away from Jason, suddenly ashamed by his inability to control his emotions. He’s never been comfortable with letting himself show so much emotion around others, not since just after his dad died. And doing so in front of Jason - one of the strongest people he knew - was absolutely mortifying.

But he can’t get very far on the narrow hospital bed, and only manages to flop back onto his back, but his uninjured side is still pressed against Jason, and his head is pillowed on Jason’s arm.

“Feeling better?” Jason asks after a moment, his own eyes looking suspiciously moist.

Keith opens his mouth to answer that he’s fine, but thinks better of it when he sees the way Jason is looking at him and remembers that Jason is an expert body language reader and would be able to tell right away that Keith is lying. 

“No.” he answers instead, his voice hoarse from the crying. “I’m not okay.”

Jason nods. “Yeah, me neither.”

They’re quiet for a moment before Jason speaks again. “If you’re up to it, I think we should definitely get you back to the Manor. They’ll definitely have noticed that you’re missing by now, and they’re all probably going out of their minds with worry.”

Keith feels his own eyes go wide in panic and he curses.

Jason picks up on his mood almost as quickly as Shiro would have. “What’s wrong?”

“I ran away when they were all already so worried about Ryou.” Keith’s words come out in a rush. “What if - what if they don’t want me to come back?”

Jason huffed. “Listen kid, most of my brothers have been trying for  _ years  _ to get me to go back there despite all the messed up shit I’ve done in the past. I can  _ guarantee  _ you that they’ll welcome you back with open arms. You’re part of this crazy family, kid. Whether you like it or not.”

Keith watches Jason as he speaks and can see that Jason is sincere, if as bewildered as Keith is at the notion of being a part of ‘this crazy family’ at all. Even if Shiro had assured Keith a million times that he  _ is  _ a part of the family.

“You’ll probably get a lecture though.” Jason says as he stands up to slip his jacket on. “Lots of lectures. From Bruce, Alfred,  _ and  _ Dick. Probably Ryou too.” 

Keith makes a face at that, causing Jason to chuckle. 

“You deserve it, kid. But you can hide behind me this time.”

“Really?” Keith asks as Jason helps him out of the bed and into his own jacket. He’s surprised that he’s not in hospital scrubs or something.

“Sure kid, us previously abandoned orphans gotta stick together.”

Keith pauses, chest suddenly warm, because he’d never heard himself described as ‘previously abandoned’ before, but he realises that it’s an accurate description. Shiro might be gone, but he’s not really as alone as he thought he was. And that, he thinks, is worth putting up with all the lectures he’s sure to get once they get back to Wayne Manor. Especially if it means that he’ll have people like Jason Todd looking out for him.


End file.
